Roy The Boy says...

Trading Places

Friday 12 Sep 2008

A couple of years back, in an attempt to contain my urge to gamble whilst holding a fair few bullets on the back of a rare and decent win, I decided to do the admirable mature thing and invest a chunk of change somewhere outside of gambling.

With a disposition like mine this would never be easy. I have this aversion to words like ‘nest egg’ and attempting phrases such as ‘saving for a rainy day’ sees me stutter like a malfunctioning machine gun.

But it had to be done and in something of a compromise I opted for a punt on the Stock Market. Not knowing the first thing about the beast I surfed the web urgently seeking ways and means to play this super-size fruit machine. In my quest for knowledge I was as passionate as a novice card player who had discovered online poker for the very first time.

I soon realised that, as in poker, to be a big winner you have to play the big tables. Small stakes Limit Hold’em could well grind out a small profit for me but I’m a gambler through and through and the greater the risk the greater the potential returns.

Consequently, in poker terms, I opened up a table called the AIM where the action is No Limit. The AIM stands for Alternative Investment Market but what does it mean? Initially I thought it could have a literal meaning, you know something for the people out there who mistakenly thought that Adam had got it together with Steve and not Eve.

There are a few things during my life which I have always known were not for me: voting BNP, joining a cult, or going on a package holiday. So I was relieved when discovering ‘Alternative’ didn’t refer to genre or religion, it simply denotes the market is other than the main London Stock Exchange. Just why didn’t they call it that, using the acronym OTMLSE? But, then again, why don’t we call Omaha Four-Card-Hold’em?

I digress. The AIM is for smaller start-up companies which have the potential to become massive organisations and therein earn you a lot of money. On the downside a lot of these companies are trying to reinvent the wheel and their investors end up penniless.

Clearly the way to go in this scenario is to invest small and invest widely. There is no need to put all your eggs in one basket when only one in every dozen develops into a golden goose while the others get fried.

Therein I like to think of the forthcoming Ladbrokspoker Killarney Festival as an AIM investment. For small money you have the potential to share in a big scoop – a piece of a guaranteed €250,000 prize-pool. Alternatively (get it?), you can invest $20,000 or $40,000 in a single event entry fee elsewhere and drop the lot in a single costly exercise.

Don’t take my word for it. Marty Smyth, the current Pot-Limit Omaha World Champion and recent World Open winner clearly knows the time of day and he has already declared Killarney his destination ahead of those outrageously priced events.

Smyth, who began his career at Ladbrokespoker.com and plays under the alias ‘Macedonia’, also landed last year’s Irish Open and finished a luckless runner-up in the Poker Million. Of course these days you have to get up before you go to bed of a night to get the better of Marty financially but it’s not changed him one iota and so when he opts for the value option we should all sit up and take note.

‘Invest small – win big’, possibly that should be the motto for Killarney but that does not encompass all the reasons why this Irish Festival will be an outstanding success. I don’t want to put a finer point on it but, for starters, just stop to consider why Oliver Reed moved to Ireland towards the end of his days.

As well as that famous Irish hospitality which Ollie Reed enjoyed so much all the little things that poker players like, but so rarely receive at tournaments, will be in place down Killarney way.

Simple things: there is free wireless Internet access for all, it starts the moment you arrive at the local airport. Hot food will be available throughout the night for those that are playing and those that are not playing, probably partying and living on a liquid diet. It is such a welcome relief to those who have become accustomed to the usual “sandwiches delivered to your room only” response meted out by staff at so many hotels turned poker venues.

Similarly, make it to the fabled final table of Killarney’s feature event and you will be awarded with a classy keepsake to mark the occasion and celebrate the achievement. Trust me these souvenirs mean a lot to players as they will still be around long after the money has gone. Win one and I assure you, you’ll keep and treasure it like Monica cherished her favourite blouse.

Checking in the lobby I see 137 packages and an additional 37 seats have been taken up by Ladbrokes customers to date and the tournament is still a month away. A sell-out capacity field of 625 therefore looks a formality but one or two others may have to be squeezed in ‘cos celebrities will be popping up like crop circles, overnight and unpredictably, I promise you.

If all goes to plan, and the plan has been checked and rechecked, describing the Ladbrokespoker.com Killarney Festival as just another poker tournament will be a gross understatement, like calling Frank Sinatra a fair singer, Desert Orchid a useful horse or George Soros an OK stock market trader!

See you there!