Poker Hands

Poker Hands Ranking

All online poker games, be it holdem texas poker, omaha poker, seven card stud poker, 5 card draw poker or 5 card stud poker have one unifying factor above all others. They all rank their hand values the same.

All the 5 card poker games, regardless of if they are played as free poker or online poker or live poker or indeed just on the kitchen table amongst friends all have the same hierarchy of hand rankings and these never alter. A player may strive their whole poker career to be the lucky recipient of a ‘Royal Flush’ some may get more than their fare share over time, however it is often what you do with the hands dealt to you that counts more than the hand itself.

Any online poker hand has no distinction between suits, the face value of a card will often be the determining factor in a hand but the suits have no comparative value when it comes to deciding who wins the pot.

Above we have provided a run down of the poker hands ranking, starting with the Almighty ‘Royal Flush’ and then in descending order.

Starting Poker Hands

A light-hearted look at some of the possible starting hands in Holdem Texas Poker. Unlike in most other situations, we don't recommend playing the beer hand...!

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AA : American Airlines, Pocket Rockets, Bullets, The Boots, Two Pips. Hal Fowler’s winning hand WSOP 1979

KK : Cowboys, King Kong, Kangaroos, Kray Twins, Ace Magnets.

QQ : The Ladies, Jailhouse Rock, Siegfried and Roy, Flower Girls, Hilton sisters, Snow Shoes. Tom McEvoy’s winning hand WSOP 1983.

JJ : Jay Birds, Hooks.

TT : Dimes (A dime in American currency is worth 10c). Mansour Matloubi’s winning hand WSOP 1990.

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99 : Mints (after eights…), Phil Hellmuth (Specifically the two black nines - Hellmuth won the WSOP winning hand 1989) Popeyes, Red Balloons (from the song by Nena). Ben ‘Sailor’ Roberts’ winning hand WSOP 1975.

88 : Snowmen, Two fat Ladies, Racetracks, Chinese Aces (The Chinese have eight as their lucky number). Greg Raymer’s winning Hand WSOP 2004; Jerry Yang’s winning hand WSOP 2007.

77 : Saturn, Mullets, Sunset Strip, Walking Sticks.

66 : Route 66, Kicks.

55 : Presto, Speed limit, Noel Furlong’s winning hand WSOP 1999.

44: Sailboats, Midlife Crisis, Magnum.

33: Crabs, Larry Bird (his shirt number at The Boston Celtics), Hooters, City Park (two trees). Bill Smith’s winning hand WSOP 1985.

22: Ducks, Pocket Swans, The Larte, Desmond (Tutu).

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AK : Walking back to Huston, Big lick, Anna Kournikova, Santa Barbara.

AQ : Little Click, Doyle Brunson, Big Chick, Stu Ungar’s winning hand WSOP 1981.

AJ : Black Jack, Ajax, Rockette, Adam and Joe, Apple Jacks, Jackass, Apple Juice.

AT : Johnny Moss, Corners.

A9 : Johnny Chan’s winning hand WSOP 1987; Chris ‘Jesus’ Ferguson’s winning Hand WSOP 2000.

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A8 : The Dead Man’s hand (Wild Bill Hickok was shot in the back when holding this hand – two pair A-A-8-8), Reet Candy.

A7 : Puggy Pearson’s winning hand WSOP 1973.

A5 : High Five.

A4 : Stu Ungar’s winning hand WSOP 1997.

A3 : Baskin Robbins (31 flavours of ice cream).

A2 : Hunting Season (a bullet and a duck), Acey-Duecey.

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KQ : Marriage, Royalty. Carlos Mortensen’s winning hand WSOP 2001.

KJ : Kojack, Bill Filmath, Bachelor’s Hands (Jack King Off) King John, Tucson Monster. Brad Daugherty’s winning hand WSOP 1991.

KT : Katie.

K9 : Canine, Saw Mill, Fido, What a Dog.

K8 : Royal Banquet, Kokomo, The Dancing Hand. Russ Hamilton’s winning hand WSOP 1994.

K7 : Columbia river.

K4 : Sex.

K3 : King crab, Seafood.

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QJ : Maverick.

QT : Quint, Goolsby, Varkonyi, Best hand in poker, Watch your hair Phil (this hand caused Phil Hellmuth to have his head shaved in 2002). Robert Varkonyi‘s winning hand WSOP 2002.

Q9 : Jamie Gold ‘s winning hand WSOP 2006.

Q8 : Kuwait.

Q7 : The Computer Hand (according to a computer simulation this is the median hand that is generally profitable against a random hand).

Q5 : Granny Mae.

Q3 : Gay Waiter (Queen with a trey).

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JQ : Oedipus

JT : Cloutier (play on the name T J Cloutier).

J9 : Scotty Nyguen’s winning Hand WSOP 1998; Johnny Chan’s winning hand WSOP 1988.

J8 : Dahmer (Jeffery Dahmer ate Jack).

J7 : Jack Daniels.

J6 : Railroad Hand. Jim Bechel’s winning hand WSOP 1993.

J5 : Motown ( Jacks and Fives – say fast ), Redmond Special.

J4 : Flat Tyre (play on words – What’s a jack for?).

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T9 : Countdown.

T8: Rosary, Hail Mary.

T7 : Bowling Hand (seven-ten is the big split in ten pin bowling) Daniel Negreanu (hand has to be off-suit).

T5 : Woolworth, Five and Dime.

T4 : Broderick Crawford, Over and Out, "Roger That, Good Buddy" (CB radio call), Convoy.

T2 : Doyle Brunson, Texas Dolly (Doyle Brunson won the WSOP twice with this hand, in 1976 and 1977).

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98 : Oldsmobile. Dan Harrington’s winning hand WSOP 1995; Huck Seed’s winning hand WSOP 1996.

97 : Skalie (5th WSOP 2007 Main Event). If DOUBLE SUITED - the Middlemiss if in spades (So named after one of the UK's best tournament directors).

96: Joe Bernstein, Dinner for Two, Prom night (when suited).

95 : Dolly Parton (Sang the song 9 to 5).

94 : San Francisco (The 49ers are San Fran’s American Football team), Gold Rush

93 : Jack Benny (he always claimed to be 39 years old).

92 : The Montana Banana (Article 92 made poker legal in the state of Montana).

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87 : RPM (78 was the old).

84 : George Orwell (He wrote the novel 1984). Hamid Dastmalchi’s winning hand in WSOP 1992.

83 : Raquel Welch.

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76 : Union Oil, Philadelphia (The 76ers are the basketball team from the city).

75 : Heinz (57 varieties), Ketchup.

74 : Double down (Blackjack reference for doubling your bet when dealt 11).

73 : Hachem (Joe Hachem flopped a straight with this hand in the WSOP 2005 to win it all).

72 : Beer Hand (You play it if you are leaving the game and getting the beers; frames 2 and 7 in ten pin bowling are the ‘beer frames’), The hammer, The Worst Hand in Poker, Teddy Lee.

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65 : Retirement (the age thereof).

64 : Arlo, The Hennessey.

63 : Blocky.

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54 : Jesse James, Colt, The Moneymaker (Chris Moneymaker ‘s winning hand WSOP 2003; Stu Ungar’s winning hand WSOP 1980).

53 : The JymJam.

52 : The Powerhouse.

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43 : George W Bush (43rd president).

42 : The Mad Yank, Bill Clinton (42nd president), Lumberman’s hand.

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32 : The Hooter hand, Mississippi Slick, Michael Jordan (his shirt number at the Chicago Bulls).

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